So in October last 2015 I turned 30.
All I thought was ‘Blimey this means I’m an actual adult’.
My friends took me for dinner then we had a few drinks in the local. It was ruined slightly by a local drunk that insisted that ‘being 51 was far worse‘ and she wished she could have her time again…. this is all she went on about and took the focus away from me… Which in itself sounds selfish on my part….. however IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!!
So life continued as normal. Christmas came and went.
Bearing in mind I’d been clinically depressed for the last 10 years. (You can check that story in previous posts). Then all of a sudden wham I wake up one day “healed” and in such a good mood it was surreal.
I don’t know what happened but life started clicking into place. I felt like a woman not a girl. I felt I had my shit together. I knew how to budget, how to fill my fridge up and stop living like an student. I enjoyed the finer things in life like my coffee machine and my kindle.
I was just happy. For no reason.
I’d had some kind of epiphany in my sleep and, all of a sudden, I was a grown up.
Something my dad said to me when I was 14. “Enjoy being young and living at home, you’ll wake up 30 and having to pay bills”. He wasn’t wrong.
It felt like I left school last week. I remember putting my school tie on the fence and burning it. Saying goodbye and good luck to all my school friends.
What have I achieved in 15 years?! I feel I’ve achieved nothing yet I have so many strings to my bow, I don’t even know what career to take. I’ve had a broken heart, I’ve been to Australia, Malta, moved to Wiltshire, returned to Devon.
I’ve got a degree, well half but that’s another story. I’m a beautician, a nurse and have ran a pub.
I’ve been so drunk I couldn’t spell my own name, I’ve had crap cars, brilliant road trips and made some life long friends.
My world has completely changed. I have a chronic illness. Which I hide as much as I can.
3 months ago I was totally happy with being on my own, just the cats and I.
I smile every day. Do things I enjoy, things that make me happy without worrying what someone else thinks of it.
You only get one life, it could get cut short at any point. Live it, laugh and enjoy every moment. Even if that means spending the day in bed with a good book, film, the cats and and coffee.
I wasn’t really expecting anyone wanting to put up with my constant sarcasm, unpredictable illness and my pure lack of being sociable. I work in an pub, I don’t need to go out on the piss every weekend.
Then boom a man comes in to my life.
I’ve grown up, I don’t do the one night stands, I don’t want to be someone’s 2nd choice. I’m a woman and I want love, respect and fun.
I think I’ve found that.
So turning 30 has changed me. I’ve let go of all the hate, anguish and shittiness of being in my 20’s.
I feel liberated, and think my 30’s are going to be the best yet.
I wake up happy every day. (That may have something to do with the 24 year old I wake up next to 😉)
Life at 30 is great. You grow up, leave the past in the past and live your life.